there's only so much one can do and try, to be who they thought they were. at some point you give up. its not your choice but things are kinda out of your hands. its like a scattered mess, water spilled on the floor. you cant do a thing about it..or it make how it used to be. it's useless.... its the end. at that point you face reality and you see the pit of burning sulfur..... why do people still keep telling you to pray and not lose hope?.... wouldn't you have tried all of that before? yes. you did..... but somehow that didn't work for you. now you're done for. stop fooling yourselves by trying to be happy. face the end with dauntlessness. hold your self together.

but then in the midst of all that i poured out.... i remember something i had once read and has been read out to me since i was an infant....when Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego faced the pit of fire and there was no logical way out of it and they knew they were doomed...... it was amidst that fire and gruesome death pit that a figure bearing resemblance to the man i call my saviour and abba(Jesus Christ) came down from his thrown and stayed with them, holding there hand and keeping them safe.
they were rescued from their fate. there lies your and my string of hope......Jesus Christ !!!

MY BABY PRINCESS!!

She left me to be at a better place on the 19th of september 2011..... she was my princess, my baby, my everything.... i'll love you forever and always......... NEFERTITI!!!!!
Love,
mom <3

OBEDIENCE. a very important word in the your walk with Christ. you can't move further without this. i've tried. doesn't happen. you might be a wonderful person who loves the lord and does what is right. you may be very spiritually sound and strong in jesus; but like you learn your lesson in love, forgiveness and other things it is very important to learn your lesson in obedience. it is a marking factor in your christian life. Jesus Christ was and is the son of the only God, but leaving that aside he had to be obedient to the will of his father. Moses; great man of God, very powerful servant, put up with a lot of (frankly speaking) unpleasantness with Israel cause he was being obedient. get real!he din't really need that. but he did that in obedience. noah who might have appeared to be a nutcase to many who watched him at it, in his time was being obedient to God. they were all being obedient, it was a part of their ministry. obedience to God was their ministry. obedience is your ministry. cause their is nothing you can give God except for your thanks and obedience for all that He has done for you. you need to earn to love obedience to God. obedience in the true sense does not generate from fear, it generates from love and selflessness. you should be able to wake up in the morning and truly say to God that 'father i give my life to you and i'll be obedient to you,i'll do what you want' - that is what our God is looking for cause he's pouring out everything for you. for psalm 119:72 says "the law of thy mouth is better unto me than thousands of god and silver".
your obedience in God does not stop there, it is obedience to your parents in Christ and very importantly to your shepherd: the man of God who leads you.
right or wrong. logical or illogical. tiny thing or big thing. you have to obey. trust me you, that you cant be anything in Christ if you do not OBEY.
you need to squash down your pride for that, become humble , like Jesus did. cause till the time you don't stop thinking for yourself and start taking orders from God and the people who He has assigned over you, you'll not come close to practicing obedience.

it's not easy. it kills. but that's the way it is. if my Jesus was obedient to the extent that He died on the cross for no fault of His, then why cant i be obedient in the situations God puts me in. you've got to think like that. and trust me , He'd never ask you to do something you're not capable of.
i've learnt, rather am learning my lesson in obedience. the hard way. and i know how important is is to obey. it's a part of who you are.
at the end of it God will reward you.

keep the faith.....

how can you be the person you want to be?

the person that you know you outta be.

when we give our lives to God, he gives us our purpose, our destiny.

but somewhere down the line we lose track of where we're going.

its not enough to be a good person and live right. thousands of people who are not christian do that as well. how am i and how are you making a difference as a christian and are you and i really moving toward the destiny our God has kept for us? that's something to think about.

its not easy but in God its possible. i make a zillion mistakes everyday. despite the fact that i know what He wants from me, i mess up sometimes. its not that i'm not trying or I've given up on my purpose, its just that i need to try harder. you and i need to make that extra effort to be who He wants us to be. and come on, we outta be making that much effort. sometimes i feel helpless like i really need God to hold my hand and forcefully walk me through 'things' because i know i don't have the strength to do it. but what i really forget is that He promised He'd never leave my side. He promised he'd be right next to me holding me. He promised. and folks, the good news... He doesn't lie. hah! in your and my forgetfulness of His promise we let our negativity overpower us.we let the enemy tell us its over for us, that we can't be everything God wants us to be. a christian's typical answer to such a problem (read; not being able to be the person they're meant to be ) would be getting prayed for. and that's good. but when i said: we need to try harder to be who we're supposed to be i meant try ourselves. the word of God tells us we have the power of His word. He has empowered us to say things and make them happen. by the power vested in me by my lord Jesus Christ, I can command things to happen. the same is true for you and for all who know Jesus as their personal savior. so when you're struggling to be who you are in Christ, when you're trying to discipline your life according to Jesus then ; firstly stop struggling, don't run around asking for help, don't get flustered. you have the answer to the problem. open your mouth to rebuke the obstacles in Jesus name. why? well, cause you have the POWER! and who is it that gives you the power? that's Jesus Christ , alright. and He's standing right next to you.
every morning when you wake up say it to yourself out loud that nothing can stop you from being who you wanna be in Jesus. believe in it. its as certain as the sun rising every morning and setting at dusk. don't worry about falling, He'll be right there to catch you.

keep the Faith.....